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Excerpt - Faith Unraveled
It had been the same old dream. The one that ended with a thundercrack, and a feeling like a horse's murderous kick striking through her head. As with each time before, Hayden awoke with a gasp, as if it were her own last, desperate breath. She had been having it for as long as she could remember, as far back as when she was born in fact. In fifteen years, she had never really gotten used to it.

Tears clung to her cheeks as she pushed herself from her bed, bracing against the cold. The young woman, born and raised on this rocky patch of farmland in the middle of the remote Artsk region, was sure she had never seen so many spindly spires in her waking life, and was even more certain that she had never stood within their walls. Yet the nightmare never changed, and indeed, each time she suffered it, she recalled more and more details. After she had turned five, she began to recall details that hadn't even been in the nightmare - memories of schooling and travels and an entire life that had not been her own.

Had it?

She fumbled in the dark for a few moments to light a candle, and by its flickering light, she dressed in a coarse, grey sheepskin gown and leather boots. The sun had not yet risen, but she was sure she would not find sleep again until it had. It was just as well. The birds needed tending to, fresh water needed to be drawn, breakfast made. Chores she had been handling all her life - often enough, she mused, that she could not help but dwell on those frightful phantom memories as she carried them out.

Hayden took the curved ring of the candleholder in hand, and braved the morning chill with a quiet shudder, hoping the cold might help to wake herself properly. Birdsong rang distantly but she could spy only the dull orange embers of the fireplace as she passed by her neighbors' thatched houses. It would be a lonely walk to the well at the center of the village. She set on her way.

The nightmare, and the alien world in which it had seemed to take place, were now as familiar to her as her own life. Perhaps even moreso. The concepts and realities of the phantom recall mingled and merged with what she knew to be real, and she occasionally caught herself speaking of these as though they were truths to her increasingly baffled parents. She had spoken of merchant god-kings and the total ruin they brought to the world, and the terror of being stuck on a dying planet while its murderers laughed from atop their castles of ivory and stained glass. She had known how to read and even write, and how it had seemed to mean so little, and she recounted the vivid memories of the vessels of metal and noise that could cross the skies on wings as broad as houses.

To Esmelda and Rikkard, the phantom memories their daughter regaled them with must have seemed to be the endearing babbling born of a child's overactive imagination. Hayden yearned to make the same distinction, but even now, as she approached her maidenhood, it could be difficult to tell where the nightmare ended and her waking life began. Would that she could write it all down somewhere - it might have made an interesting book, were it not so terribly sad. The real trouble was how the nightmare - rather, the vivid memories it had thrust upon her - had sapped her of the precious little joy and wonder that a peasant girl who lived in the frigid steppes could have hoped for. Those who knew her would often call her an "old soul," or remark on the perplexing sadness of her gaze.

Perhaps it was some arcane curse, she mused bitterly, watching her hands work to draw up water from the well, as if she were a spectator to her own body. The water's surface shone like black ice by the light of the twin moons. She set the bucket on the lip of the well, and cupped some in her hands to drink deeply, washing away the cotton plaguing her throat. With relief came a terrible shiver - the village center was bitterly cold. She gave the moons a wary glance over her shoulder.

Since before her time, it had been said that the moons were the baleful gaze of the Spurned God. Under His watch, pitch darkness would fall, the ocean swelled, and terrible blizzards would stir. His unblinking stare was a grim reminder of one of Man's greatest follies - to forget His name.

Hayden felt the hairs on the back of her neck raise slightly, flinching away from the Moons' glare. In the Bygone Nightmare, there had been another moon - albeit just the one. She had known it to change the tides, too, and she wondered frequently if any of the Gods of this realm were truly more real than those of her dreams. But it was a certainty, she knew, that there were terrors in the Waking Nightmare that she could scarcely conceive of in the Bygone. Creatures that stalked the forests and unpaved paths, baying thirstily for childsblood. Sorcerer Kings whose terror was kept in check only by fearsome, perpetually hungry Empires and the paranoid agents of the various Faiths. A truly vengeful God or two seemed at least somewhat plausible.

Just to be on the safe side...

She uttered an old litany of self-admonishment, entreating the Spurned God for patience before setting on her way home. The litany had been taught to her by her parents, though they, like most of the village, worshipped the Muse of Mercies, Aethona. As Hayden understood it, most people worshipped and prayed to a singular God or Goddess of the Eightfold - but everyone in the world knew to beg for the Spurned's mercy regardless. Such was the way, when His wrath was so indiscriminate.


Excerpt - The Songbird's Cage
'I'm sorry.'

The words repeated in her head, mingling with the fusillades of half-remembered gunfire. Sorrow had existed within her for so long that she had made her very best effort to conceal it beneath a veneer of competence. Of pride. There was, unfortunately, stiflingly little to be proud of. One thing remained to her that could be saved.

One person. One last project.

She tossed and she turned. She needed to make things right. She rose in a sudden, sharp motion. It didn't take long for her to find her quietly humming sister clad in moonlight, ruminating silently over the engine. The thrum of its volatile power undercut the momentary silence that hung heavily between them, as the woman in red stood, hesitantly, in the doorway.

"You're up late." Songbird’s synthetic tone was characteristically frigid.

"...Which," Sammy began airily, "Would usually be a mistake. Especially now. We all need our rest."

Songbird said nothing.

"But I wanted to apologize. Genuinely this time,” the doctor continued, her gaze shifting askance.

“Oh?" The armor’s voice rang hollow. Discontent warred with curiosity.

"For--for trying to mother you, for what I said the other night, for...for a lot of things."
The old woman folded her arms tightly together, tucking them under her shoulders as her eyes listed to the side.

"...for what I did to you."

"You might want to explain that last one before we have a problem, doctor." Songbird did not need to raise her voice to intone a threat.

"'You' plural,” Sammy clarified hurriedly. “Not...not you specifically. To everyone. To...all mankind."

"I'm not a god. But for a long time I fancied myself...a mother. I've never bore any children, directly. But billions are alive and living their lives today because of my work. You. Morn. Mary. Even Hayle. But you see the problem with believing I can be a mother to anyone to anything...means taking responsibility for what they do. For their pain..."

"People are suffering. Monsters are animated on principles I thought would bring humans closer to perfection. And you--you all bear the weight of my sins. I suffer because I see you suffering and I know it's my..." Her breath caught. She shuddered. The hand around her throat flexed.

"...all my fault..."

"...But I rejected you.” The machine saw the truth of her guess in the way Sammy’s shoulders slumped in defeat. ”Because you weren't enough."

She turned, partway. "You still aren't. I'm not going to give myself over to you just because we agree on one point. Nothing's changed."

"Yes," breathed the doctor. "And in turn I rejected you. Because...you weren't enough either. You are...powerful, fast. Smart. Nigh indestructible. But...I believe the bitterness and the heartache I have felt may have flowered in you in a way that I could never express. Your love for mankind is as limited as my strength. I've come to believe you see them as...either obstacles, targets, or simply not your problem."

A momentary flicker of wounded pride flickered in the old woman’s eyes, before the gravity of a shattered dream settled atop her once more. "I don't know if you and I will ever be one. Not so long as we are so...opposed."

Songbird regarded her carefully for a moment. "No. I suppose we won't be. But you're still here. You're still trying to make me see things your way. Why?"

"You may not like it. But you are all I have left. You and the tiniest sliver of hope that not everything I ever built was a mistake. Which is why I am so hard on you...unreasonably so, at times..."

A faint hiss of static issued from her vocoder. "I am my own person, Doctor. If we are patterned on the same mind, I know you understand why I refuse to be held accountable for your mistakes."

"I...I do. Which is why I wanted to apologize, like I said. It doesn't have to be anything more than that. I'll...try to be more understanding, in the future." Fighting back the threat of tears, Sammy’s gaze lifted to meet her own reflection in that gleaming faceplate. "It isn't much, I know, but perhaps something better will come of it."

Songbird stares quietly for a few more seconds, and nods, stiffly. "Perhaps. Now go back to sleep. You may be staying behind, but you will want to remain alert for what's to come."



Layout: Itinerae
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